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Showing posts from June, 2009

Mid-Life Crisis

I just want to know when I am entitled to have a mid-life crisis. Is it possible to actually calculate how long I am going to live and then time my crises to occur exactly at middle age? According to Wikipedia : Middle age is the period of life beyond young adulthood but before the onset of old age. Various attempts have been made to define this age, which is around the third quarter of the average life span of human beings. So I looked up the average life-expectancy of males and found that in Israel, that age is 76.46, at least according to the CIA World Factbook Estimates, 2008, as quoted in Wikipedia . So that schedules my mid-life crisis at between 38-57 years old. I don't know if I can wait that long. I'm quite stressed out now and only 35. Actually, it's worse than that. Since I am from Australia, where the average life expectancy of males is supposed to be 77.8 years, I shouldn't have my mid-life crisis until I'm between 39-58 years old. So this begs the q

Things That Make You Go Boom

A non-exhaustive list of flatulence-causing foods. Add more in the comments! Looks like nothing is safe! Source: The Internet Apricots Artichokes Asparagus Baked beans Bananas Bagels Bean salads Beer Beets Black-eyed peas Bog beans Bread Broad beans Broccoli Brussel sprouts Cabbage Carrots Cauliflower Celery Cereals Cheese Chickpeas Chili Corn Cucumbers Dressings Eggplant Field beans Fruits Garlic Ice cream You fall within the normal scale if you produce between 1 to 4 pints of gas per day. Kohlrabi Leeks Lettuce Onions Parsley Peppers, sweet Seeds Lentils Lima beans Mung beans Peanut butter Peanuts Peas Pinto beans Most individuals release a little burst of air through the rear quarters approximately 14 to 23 times each and every day. Potatoes Pretzels Prunes Raisins Red kidney beans Sauerkraut Sodas Soybeans Barley Breakfast cereals Granola Oat bran Oat flour Pasta Pistachios Rice Rice bran Rye Sesame flour Cows actually burp and toot so frequently that they are responsible for

Hairdressers and Taxi Drivers

Everyone tries to be smart. Everyone wants to be clever. Everyone wants to get ahead. So you read newspapers, magazine articles and blogs to get to know what the pundits are saying about the latest economic data. You study the consumer reviews to make sure that you buy only the best value; and you work hard to obtain the right information to make the most informed decisions possible. You just want to get that edge over the rest of the crowd. So the name of the game is to keep all good ideas to yourself. Here's an example: Last time I went to vote I had to wait in line for a really long time. A friend of mine hobbled up next to me on his crutches. I was number 688 and he was number 734. Since they were only up to number 465, we both had a long wait ahead of us. Not so. Once they saw his crutches, Dave was given VIP Gold-Club, Presidential treatment. He was in and out of the voting booth in about five minutes. Next time they hold elections, I’m going in with a pair of crutches. Lo